Monday, October 31, 2005

I’m just not a “pretty girl”…

I’m just not a “pretty girl”. when I say this I don’t mean to insinuate that I’m unattractive, that’s a matter of opinion. What I mean is that no matter how hard I try to keep up on my highlights in my hair, or on my hair cut, or vow to put make-up on and shave my legs at least every other day, I just don’t want to! It sucks!! None of it makes any sense - your hair just continues to grow wasting the $20 you spend to have it cut, the $70 you spent on the highlights just fades away with every shower…make-up makes you pretty for a few hours, but Heaven forbid you don’t take it off at the end of the day, then it bites you in the ass and you need twice as much the next day. And shaving your legs…are you kidding me?!? This is the worst of them all! It takes forever, you have to be a contortionist to reach every spot and if you miss a spot it’s the same spot every time and before you know it that one spot turns you into a gorilla. Then there‘s irritation and you guessed it start all over again the very next day!! Weight-we all know that one…for me it’s particularly tricky- I want to be thinner to wear cuter clothes, but I didn’t have the money to splurge on clothes when I did get thinner, so I bought a few things and found that I’d rather wear my old more comfy “fat” clothes. So, go figure! What it all boils down to is that no matter how hard I try to keep up, ultimately it’s a losing battle. Inevitably I will die with hairy legs, little to no make-up, and hair that’s a bit too long with dark roots. I just don’t have the interest to do it. I’m just not one of the - oohooh!- let’s go get pretty girls, but I’m fine with the way I am.

My Other Life…

In my other life, (you know the one you picture in your head when things unfold exactly like you want them to) I’m a totally different person. I have a perfect family-not “Leave it to Beaver” perfect- just perfect as I want it…with a routine, structure, family activities (father/daughter moments, mommy and me outings weekly)-giggling in sync with my daughters because we’re just so giddy and happy to be together. Shopping just because I feel like it and I have just enough money to cover everything practical we want and need. Nightly crazy sex with my husband because we’re so in love we just can’t keep our hands or lips off of one another. 34 C boobs that are perky are the norm, and stretch marks…HA!! I laugh in the face of stretch marks!! But in my real life I’m a mom with 2 daughters who enjoy my company sometimes, struggling to create a routine and make ends meet. I love my husband, but who has energy for daily sex???? And stretch marks, and perky boobs, YEAH RIGHT! I definitely don’t laugh at them, wouldn’t want to risk making the stretch marks angry, and the only way to get back those perky boobs is to endure a costly operation, and since this is not on the NEED side of the list I’m not seeing that one any time soon. Either way you look at it, this life or the other, it’s not bad.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

In Regards to Crystal (written 9/18/05 too busy to post)

As I stated in a previous post about my friend Stephanie, there are 3 people I've decided to write about and Crystal is another one. What can I say? Crystal...Crystal...Crystal...She's my cousin-but so much more. She's a great person and a great friend-we've had so much fun together whether it be with our family or just hanging out together. She and I have the same sort of humor-sometimes finding the funny in things that probably shouldn't be funny. And Jesus-can it be possible that being graceful is a genetic trait?? If so we both got the bum end of that deal, my dad always told me that I was as graceful as a cow, which apparently isn't so graceful, and Crystal definitely shares that title with me. Just last month I witnessed her not so awesome ability to hold herself up in a mud slide. Sorry I laughed as much as I did-I probably should've laughed just a little. But aside from all of that stuff I love this girl!!!! She's one of those people who just shines. Her eyes sparkle, her smile illuminates-you can see her sincerity, and though I've never been the most dependable or available friend, she is. Even if I've been a Bitch, she's right there if I need her. I love that she knows all of me-my family-my childhood-my niceties and my not so nice moments. My first love, my 2nd love, my life. Even though she may not know every detail-I think she has an accurate idea of anything I've ever been involved in because she just knows me. That's the best part of when we "catch up" on things missed. I never really have to explain-it's like she knows. She never makes me feel like I'm being judged, or insecure. If it weren't for her there's no telling where I would be right now. Every major chain of events in my life involves crystal. I wouldn't even know my husband -I owe her. She's given me so much - an open ear, an open shoulder, open arms, and an open mind. We've shared so much - and I love that I get to share so much more with her. LOVE YOU!!